Boundary Setting Ritual

To make a boundary real by pairing an energetic act with a spoken one.

When you already know the boundary and have been hinting instead of stating it.

MoonMagicx Lunar Method™ phase: First Quarter.

• A black candle

• A length of cord or ribbon

• Salt

• Onyx, Black Tourmaline or Yarrow

Write the boundary in one plain sentence with no justification and no apology. If it needs a paragraph, it is not a boundary yet.

Sit with the candle in front of you and the cord laid in a circle around your seat.

Light the candle. Say the boundary sentence out loud once, clearly, without softening it.

1. Hold the cord and repeat the sentence three times, each time a little slower.

2. Tie a knot in the cord for each repetition.

3. Sprinkle salt along the cord circle.

4. Sit inside the circle for five minutes and notice the discomfort. Do not fix it.

5. Keep the knotted cord in a drawer, or wear it as a bracelet until the conversation happens.

6. Set a date, within seven days, for saying the sentence to the person it concerns.

'This is my edge. It does not require agreement.

I can be kind and unmovable at the same time.

No is a complete sentence.'

Step out of the circle deliberately. Sweep the salt. Say: 'Stated, and held.'

Expect guilt. Guilt is not evidence that a boundary is wrong. Tell one supportive person what you have decided.

A boundary held only energetically tends to erode. The ritual is the rehearsal; the conversation is the ritual's completion.

• What am I afraid will happen if I say this plainly?

• Who taught me that my no was negotiable?

• What does the kind version of this sentence sound like?

If naming a boundary to someone would put you at risk, do not. Speak to a support service first.