Friendship

Adult friendship rarely ends with an argument. It ends with drift — and drift is a decision nobody admits to making.

Friendships show your patterns more honestly than romance does, because there's less at stake and therefore less performance. Notice who you shrink with, who you perform for, and who you can sit in silence with. That third group is the gold.

A small number of people who know the actual you.

Keeping friendships out of history rather than aliveness, or leaving at the first discomfort.

• Name the three people you can be fully yourself with. Tell one of them.

• Reach out to one person you've been meaning to, this week, without an occasion.

• Notice which friendships you maintain out of guilt, and ask why.

• Who has seen me change and stayed?

• Where am I performing friendship instead of having it?

• Which friendship am I letting drift, and is that a choice?

Rose Quartz and Rhodonite; Two of Cups and Three of Cups; the Love & Relationships subject.